I get so jealous of families?

probably natural to feel some jealousy. maturity on your part to recognize that YOU are why you are where you are now. ok to have left an abusive relationship, but don't ever lose sight of the lesson learned about how to relate to people, esp. in romantic area. now that child is older, maybe you can find a way to filter out those wrong guys. E-Harmony is said to be particularly good, don't take as a recommendation. never used it myself. but they have a survey which matches compatibility, and claim pretty good results. whatever happens, commit to yourself and your child, that IS a REAL family, regardless of father there or not. congrats on your reaching this far. don't lose sight of the dream, and drop the jealousy, they don't have anything you cannot have yourself. you may have the advantage of knowing how to live alone, because everyone does at sometime in life. good luck